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Breaking all the Rules - Team Epilogue

Title: Breaking all the Rules
Team: Epilogue
Author: frayach
Prompt: The Hierophant
Wordcount: 22,800
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Crack!fic, swinging, boys in pink knickers and kitty-ears, rimming, and a couple exceedingly brief het sex scenes
Summary: Malfoy is slowly wringing the last vestiges of pleasure from Harry’s life with all his rules and committees and agendas and reports. Or is he?

Breaking all the RulesCollapse )


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"I think I may be undergoing a religious conversion," Harry said. "Come here and let me touch you so I can be sure you're not a trance-induced hallucination."


simply brilliant--one of the best i've come across. Awesome job author/Team Epilogue. This fic has turned me into a loyal supporter. Keep em coming ;)

Breaking All The Rules

Yay! And we *needed* that loyal support seeing as we won by only one measly point! Thank you :) I had a ton of fun writing this story. I'm so glad you enjoyed it.
I'm shocked at how incredibly hot that was. You did an excellent job of showcasing their desire. Draco's reaction to Harry's ministrations was perfect. I could visualize and feel it.

At first, I was put off by the whole swinging thing... not really my thing. But by the end, you made it all come together and it was awesome. It definitely made me think about what happens next and I love fics that allow the reader to create their own happily ever after. Not that I'm saying I wouldn't welcome a sequel because there's definitely potential for trouble ahead for these two.

Great job!

Breaking All The Rules

Hhhmmm . . . . funny that you should mention a sequel because that's exactly what I've been mulling over since this posted. I've got a few equally hilarious (and hot) ideas. In other words, keep your eyes peeled :D Thank you for reading and commenting :)

My ramblings...

Like many others, I'm not sure I really liked the whole idea of "swinging" but you really managed to make it believable on a lot of different levels. I could see how Harry and Draco loved their wives but their sexual tendencies went in a different directions... although I think that Harry and Draco will eventually have a harder time separating out these aspects of their lives in the future (I can hope!!!) I'm curious how you as an author saw the ending.

OMG! I loved how Harry kept praying to the different gods in hope that they would help him out and Draco with his paperwork! The supporting cast was amazing! Ron was especially amusing. I got the impression that they weren't always the perfect Aurors or completely off in the deep end. You made it more realistic in that they believed in human rights but at the same time saw that the people they were questioning could harm a lot of people.

...pink and kitty ears! Umbridge! Hermione! I kept snickering throughout the whole story! You really brought the characters to life with the dialogue.

Re: My ramblings...

although I think that Harry and Draco will eventually have a harder time separating out these aspects of their lives in the future (I can hope!!!) I'm curious how you as an author saw the ending.

That's *exactly* how I saw the ending :) Actually, I'm thinking a writing a sequel, so keep you eyes peeled.

So glad you enjoyed this and saw the more serious story behind all the smut and silliness. Thank you for commenting, hon :)
That was pure genius, that was! Finally, an epilogue fic that was fun, didn't need divorces or deaths or infidelity and guilt or bad Ginny, and so on! Grande!!!!! This is the most hilarious fic I read in a long time, thank you mystery writer :)

Breaking All The Rules

You're very welcome! And thank you for taking the time to read and comment. This story was so incredibly fun to write (i.e. like you said, no divorce, no infidelity angst, just good ol' fun & smut).
This was a fun smutty romp! Odd and quirky and very humorous.
so I'm leaving a 2nd comment with my thoughts after letting them stew for a day or 2.
I enjoyed this story, but I kept trying to figure out why I wasn't screaming from the rooftops like everyone else.
feel free to ignore:
The last 1/3 of the fic is F'ing brilliant. From the Harry's confrontation with Draco when he says to Be There (guh) thru the very end (with all the starts and stops). It's phenomenal writing. I wouldn't touch a word.
I tried to read the fic when it first posted then stopped after maybe 5000 words. After everyone on my f-list raved, I forced myself to persevere. It was worth it.
I love how you used the swingers club (and all the other organizations) to tell this story. The plot is simply H&D's denied/suppressed feeling for each other woven with a theme of how "rules" affect and have completely permeated our lives. Yes, rules help us, but they restrict us. We have gone off the deep end and need to find our balance. Sohprosyne, the Greeks would say. I think that applies to this fic (and my lack of squee). 22k words for a 1 simple plot and 1 theme is a bit much. I totally "get" that all the up front meetings, and rules, and regs, and paragraphs, and sub-paragraphs that we sit through are supposed to make us feel like Harry, be bored, be sick and tired of it and commiserate w/Harry. I "got it" after the first 2000 words. What happened was I got bored and tired of the story (before I got to the great parts).

Most people here are going to throw over-ripe fruit at me, but I think the front 2/3rds could have been edited down significantly. Maybe shortened a lot of scenes and maybe cut a few. I think the fic would have gone from good to Brilliant. It's clever, humorous, original, and blissfully irreverent. The slogging through the front was really very hard.

I wouldn't have left this comment - If I didn't see the concept and most of the story/writing itself as something really special
OMG, you killed me with this!! I couldn't stop laughing and now I'm still laughing and can't stop.
I usually avoid crack!fics but I'm soo glad I didn't avoid this one.

Oh god, there are so many little things that were so damn funny, like Harry being the only one who was not lousing his hair. I could quote so many things that I liked but then I would just rewrite half your story. I'm so in love with all your characters...the relationship between Harry/Ginny...your Ginny was so fantastic...and Hermione...and Ron not going to the club...Malfoy with his rules and regulations and dry monologues...

Ginny interrupting Harry to tell him that they have to go home was evil, really!! I was laughing so hard and at the same time cursing you for doing that. Poor Harry.

Even through this story was really long, the end still come to soon, for me it was like I started a few minutes ago.

Umbridge...I so didn't expect that.

And Harry day dreaming while Draco was talking and talking and talking...and Harry addressing the club with "Friends, neighbors, colleagues, and fellow members of my children's play groups" or things like "Or Enlil or Anubis or . . ."

I could so hear Ginny saying things like "Oh, honey..." I could so imagine her tone of voice...your Ginny...so much love!

I could go on and on about this story and will be definitely rereading it. This was just so damn hilarious. I'm still laughing. Don't know if I mentioned yet or not but I love you, I love this story.

Enjoyed it very much. Thanks soo much for sharing it with us!!
I'd initially avoided this fic when I saw that it contained "swinging" because, along with BDSM, polyamory, and threesomes, it's *so* not my thing.
(Quite annoying actually, to realise I am vanilla to the core!)

However, once I got stuck in, I was swallowed up and carried away in this amazing, vast tidal wave of crack.

Hermione struggled for a moment to remove her feet from the stirrups of the coveted Chair of Love.

"I'm sorry," Harry said. "I know you've had your name down for the Chair for a month. I wouldn't interrupt you if this wasn't important."

I believe my head swam at this point.

But I let my coffee grow cold, and remained glued to the screen 'til the end.

Draco's completely deluded pursuit of committee chairmanships in order to earn Harry's respect him was soo endearing.
I also enjoyed seeing Harry being thwarted at every turn. Enormously :)
V unexpected, clever and sweet, that a kiss turns out to be the pinnacle of their display of passion for each other.

(It may amuse you to know that throughout the Belgravia Court residents meeting scene, I kept on reading all sorts of meanings into "letterboxes" and such, and fully expected an orgy to commence at any moment. *facepalm* )
My only excuse for not commenting right after I read this is because I was laughing too hard. This was hilarious and exactly the kind of epilogue-fic I've been waiting for..

I love that everyone except Ron were swingers. I love Draco trying to inflict death via red-tape boredom and drone work. I love Harry being thwarted repeatedly. And, Ginny was so lovable in this...perfect! And Dolores? So unexpected and so hysterical. I could go on and on, to be honest but I'll spare you.

To wind up...the H/D factor. Suffice to say, I almost cried when Harry and Draco get interrupted at the club. So fucking hot. I loved the ending...the smut, the rules, the snark.

This was a fantastically fun read...we need more epilogue fics like this! Thank you so much for sharing.

Breaking All The Rules

You're very welcome! I'm so glad you enjoyed it. And not commenting right away because you were laughing so hard is a more than sufficient excuse :D
This was such fun, with Draco's incessant meetings, committees and the swinger club (but I still shudder whenever remember Umbridge in catsuit).

Breaking All The Rules

Yes, it's a horrifying thought, isn't it? *shudders*


I'm so glad you enjoyed this smutty little romp. Thanks so much for reading and commenting.
Gah! I confess, I would never, ever have guessed this was your fic! Why? I guess I just got used to a darker-type of story from you (for lack of a better way to phrase that!).

However, I LOVED this...it was hysterical. So much so, that I read it out loud, page by page, to a co-worker (dracosveela) during our weekly shared lunch.
(And, I would have commented sooner, but we only just finished it yesterday. All those pages take a long time to read out loud an hour a week at a time!).

In closing, thank you so much for this. We have spent many lunches over the last few weeks laughing (so hard I had an asthma attack!), giggling (wow, it really is embarrassing to say some of those words OUT LOUD), oooing and ahhing (such delightfully delicious storyline) over this fic. What a wonderful gift for fandom.
Fray, I wouldn't never have pegged this fic for one of yours. I know you said that you're going to try something different this time around, but almighty Anubis - completely not what I expected.

I just have one, no, two things to say.

Your fic fucking owns me and...

ILU in a brokeback way.

PS: This is the only crack!fic that gets the official phoenixacid's PM™ Stamp of Approval. Be very proud.

Breaking All The Rules

I *am* very proud! Thank you so much, my dear. And ILU right back in a BB way. LOL. Especially since I managed to fool you. I really was *so* hoping I'd be able to fool some of my longtime readers. Thanks for being one of them. *hugs*
Oh, Fray. I think you have boy dolls in your closet. Harry and Draco boy dolls and you have converted the setting provided by Mattel(sp?) into just the sort of club all little dolls want to go to. (Dolls are really kind of scary)

Such delightfully funny and smutty boys. I'll tell you, as hot as it was, I actually loved the humor the best. The constant Chairing by Draco, and the obsession despite the boredom, by Harry. I loved Harry's many exclamations to the Gods so much. And I loved how you molded my perceptions by just saying Draco never wears pink. But then,I loved how he did...

Very very very fun. I needed that!

Breaking All The Rules

Hello, my dearest Pril. I hope you're well :) Thank you so much for reading and commenting. I'm so glad you enjoyed this silly smutty little romp. You *know* Harry's in love when the obsession outweighs the boredom ;) And the same goes for Draco. That he'd trade in his pinstripes for pink polyester (not to mention pink polyester schoolgirl knickers) speaks volumes about his feelings for Harry.

See, I'm just a big ol' sap at heart. But, of course, you know that already :D
oh god, i can't get over how hilarious this fic is! the whole concept of the swingers club and the fact that so many of the gryffindors were members had me laughing out loud, not to mention the matter-of-fact way everyone discussed sex ;)

harry's reactions were pure gold and you had my eyes glazing over at draco's long-winded lawyer-speak. the smut was INCREDIBLY hot as well, so good job!

Breaking All The Rules

Thank you very much! So glad you enjoyed it :) And, yes, matter-of-fact talk about sex is almost always good for a laugh. It's just so taboo that when someone refers to it as they would to a grocery list or something equally mundane, it's instantly hilarious. Poking at taboos, when done right, is almost always funny.
Holy hell, that was hot. Way, way beyond the usual everyday porn. *sweats* And the fact that it was part of such a hilarious story made it even better. Well done!

Breaking All The Rules

Thank you! I'm so glad you enjoyed it :D
This was the best thing I've ever read. Seriously! Gut-bustingly funny, incredibly, incredibly hot, and very satisfying. Amazingly well-written, entertaining from start to finish, and so damn smart - I absolutely loved this. The perfect fic. ♥

Breaking All The Rules

Wow! Thank you for the lovely review! I'm so pleased you enjoyed this smutty little romp of mine. I had an absolute blast writing it, and it's wonderful to know that people liked reading it just as much. Actually, I had so much fun writing it that I'm toying with the idea of a sequel. Keep an eye out for it :)
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January 2010

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