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Breaking all the Rules - Team Epilogue

Title: Breaking all the Rules
Team: Epilogue
Author: frayach
Prompt: The Hierophant
Wordcount: 22,800
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Crack!fic, swinging, boys in pink knickers and kitty-ears, rimming, and a couple exceedingly brief het sex scenes
Summary: Malfoy is slowly wringing the last vestiges of pleasure from Harry’s life with all his rules and committees and agendas and reports. Or is he?

Breaking all the RulesCollapse )


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OMG! I am literally crying with happy right now - this was so incredibly perfectly what I've been needing for simply ages!

I don't even know where to start commenting - yes, it's crackfic, but gorgeous, rompy, crackfic with a Harry and Draco that still feel IC even in the face of swingers' clubs and crazy open minded friends and the amazingly minutiae of Draco's endless crazy committees and meetings.

You just KNOW he's trying to either get a rise out of Harry or keep himself distanced, or maybe both. And Harry, darling, lost, obsessed Harry with his work and his kids and his really likeable Ginny (and oh boy, is that rare for me) - he's a walking libido desperately clinging to his sanity.

And for all the crackiness - this was HOTHOTHOT, panty melting hot and just... guh! (as Harry would say) - and also at the end, something more. Behind all the crazy and humour (roflmao humour) and sexual attraction and sex... there was 'them' - a driving need for each other that only finally finds the light of day in the dying words, but still colours everything they've done and said - and it's perfect.

You've revived me! Thank you! This one is a definite keeper. :)

Breaking All The Rules

Yay!!! I so so so happy this little smutty tale of mine went some distance in making you feel better about the whole HDWC scene. Of course, I have you and Djinniyah to thank for inspiring me :D I loved that little late-night conversation we had.

Thank you, sweetie. I'm glad to have been able to make you smile :)
Gah, totally my pick for the round - rambled about it in detail here. Thank you mystery author!

Breaking All The Rules

Yay! Thank you so much for the lovely review. I loved all of them, btw. Your reviews were as fun to read as the fics themselves. Thank you so much for taking the time to do them :)
Sweet everything, that was seven kinds of Guh! And through the glorious smut each one of those lines that said how much force of emotion and mutual desire was behind this made my happy OTP heart sing.
Swingers setting worked here for many reasons, crack-iness aside. Thank you for one hell of a ride mystery author!

Breaking All The Rules

Seven kinds of Guh! is a good good thing. Myself, I'm usually happy with six, or even five, but those rare occasions that deliver up seven are to be savored, indeed. So glad I could provide you with your daily Guh! requirement in just one single easy-to-swallow water soluble capsule made of pink nylon :D :D :D

Thank you so much for the review, hon :)
Oh bravo! Bravissimo! *clappity-clap-clap*

What to say - I'm bursting into spontaneous gigglefits over this. :D Heavens above, it's awesome. What I thought was particularly awe-inducing was the skill and inventiveness with which you juxtaposed things that really shouldn't work together so brilliantly: dull bureaucrats as swingers of all the things in the world! Promiscuous swingers falling in love! Sartorial geniuses in pink nylon knickers! This story is like one big, juicy scandal. :)

Your use of prompt was also very clever, I thought. Unless I'm terribly mistaken, you utilised both the "upright" and the "reversed" meaning of the card? Ingenious - contrasting rigid abiding-by-the-rules with unconventionality, all in a way that didn't seem forced. I gave you high marks for that (too). :)

Also, two of my favourite details: 1. the kiss after the rimming scene. It was impossibly sweet. ♥ And 2. Draco's widow's peak. I happen to think widow's peaks very, very sexy. ;)

Breaking All The Rules

*bows* Thank you!! I'm so glad you enjoyed it :D My goal was to reduce as many readers as possible to gigglefits. Glad to know I succeeded with you :)
Gah love! So much love! You managed to combine crack AND kink so seamlessly! Oh sigh, I bloody love you. XD
Gah and the pink knickers? Brilliantly executed. The whole scene was just one of the kinkiest things i've read in a long time. :D I too was groaning when Ginny walked in. God . But yes, thank you for bringing joy to the epilogue... *tears a little*

Breaking All The Rules

Omg! Of all the stories I've written, this is the absolute last I would ever think would make my readers cry. But there you are with a little tear in your eye. LOL! Glad to have brought some joy to the epilogue for you. Without even have to kill anyone off :D
Reading your warnings, I was expecting some nice and easy read with lots of laughs and hopefully some hot kinky smut, but Goodness! - this was so much more than that!

Your characters are interesting and well developed, and even though they have all obviously went through some changes, as one would expect during the 19 years, they are still recognisably themselves. Your use of the prompt, both in the plot and the characterisation is very well executed, and fits here nicely.

Your take on the epilogue and the lives these characters are living is not only quite refreshing and original, but also way more likeable (for me, at least) than the implied boring heteronormative vision JKR has written. :) What is more, I can actually see this happening withing the epilogue she gave us, without suspension of disbelief. And that is definitely not something I expected, going into a story labeled as crack!

The first half of the story was just hilarious, I actually laughed out loud quite a few times, but it was also clever and witty and charming, in a way I didn't honestly hope for. And then, on top of that, came not just one of the hottest sex scenes I have ever read (and one of the most frustrating interruptions!), but you actually went further and gave us the beginning of a romance that has been waiting to happen for what felt like years. And with that new perspective, the scenes at the beginning that had only seamed funny at first, had a somewhat different meaning. Draco and his tedious meetings, his numerous positions in what seamed like every possible society Harry was a part of, including and especially the swingers club, even his coming back to England, motivated by a desire so overwhelming, a desire that matches Harry's equally. A desire that is pretty much the reason I find the sex so incredibly mind- blowingly hot.

Honestly, if this is your crack!fic, I can't wait to see what you can do with a "serious" story! :)


Okay, so it's been a couple of days since I read this, and my brain still keeps on replaying scenes from it. And a silly part of it keeps insisting it was actually a movie I saw, not a story I read.

Like, I saw the little ball bouncing on the one way mirror. I saw Malfoy's cuff-links blinding me with their shine. I saw naked Harry covering his eyes, so he doesn't see Dolores in the pink cat- suit (and yes, unfortunately I saw her too. Uhh!)

And I most definitely saw Harry and Draco in the tiny bathroom, desire so strong, it was almost palpable, talking about respect.

Oh, and that whole scene, from the moment Harry sees Draco in the shadows, leaning against the wall, to the moment Draco turns his head at the door to tell Harry he expects the report on Monday? Yes, I saw that in technicolor. Pink knickers included :)

So, yes. This is what your imagery does to me.
I thought you might like to know. :)
Here via painless_j's rec. This is absolutely and totally brilliant! I couldn't stop laughing. You, dear author, are a genius!

Breaking All The Rules

And thank you for reading and commenting! So glad you enjoyed it :D
This must be the ultimate H/D epilogue fic! While true to all its succinct details, this story turns the stifling, not to say prudish and, as eburnea says, decidedly heteronormative scenario of the Epilogue on its head.

The sheer brilliance of the idea of putting most of the characters from the Epilogue into the Southwark Swingers' Club makes me simply adore this fic. But what entirely convinces me - not a real fan of crack!fic - of this kind of 19-years-after scenario is the characterisation of Harry and Draco, and in fact all the characters. These are individual, grown-up people doing grown-up things in a grown-up way. Draco as the Rules & Regulations-obsessed Hierophant lawyer is just brilliant, and Harry as Malfoy-obsessed Head Auror is just way too close to canon for this to be all just crack ;-). Harry and Ginny talk to each other, they know they love each other without having to "proof" their love by sexual monogamy. I love how in this fic the supposedly strict lines between friendship and love, hetero- and homosexuality, normality and perversion (in the Freudian "polymorph perverse" sense) are crossed and re-crossed to portray a community where people acknowledge each others' needs and try to make life work without having them be denied. It's an utopian vision in many ways, but one which I'd love to see explored more (both in fic and RL ;-)).

I am green with envy simply adore the way you write sex. It's excruciatingly hard to make letters on a computer screen turn into believable, steaming hot sex, and you did it perfectly. There is nothing cliché about the sex, in fact, you manage to turn potentially disgusting images (balls covered by saliva-soaked pink nylons?!) into something breathlessly hot and utterly - in one untranslatable German word - geil. This sex really is the most erotic pornographic writing can be.

What I love most, though, is how fully this fic encompasses the romance of H/D-slash. There is no doubt here that Harry and Draco are meant for each other. Their kiss after Harry rims Draco into orgasm is just to die for. All the rules are broken for their one true love. And this, at least in my book, is quite as it should be :-). Thanks so much for writing this.

Breaking All The Rules

You are very welcome, my dear :D

In many ways, this fic represents a treasured ideal: wouldn't it be great if we could all explore our sexualities and still keep and maintain our non-sexual relationships? I'm so sick of jealous!Ginny fics and tortured!unfaithful!Harry fics. I decided to just neutralize that whole potential "issue" with one fell blow. Oh, and obliterating boundaries between homo and heterosexual and perversion versus "normal." It's so liberating not to have to "deal" with such things in a narrative. It really frees up space to imagine other kinds of stories.

Plus, as it turns out, I love being funny :D Who would've thunk it?

All the rules are broken for their one true love. And this, at least in my book, is quite as it should be :-).

You will be entirely unsurprised that we are of exactly the same mind on this point :D I agree completely.
Okay, that, hands-down, is the most fun and creative concept I've seen so far to be both Harry/Draco and completely epilogue-compliant. I mean, yes, one could play around with all sorts of tricky are-they-actually-married, are-they-putting-on-a-good-front-is-all sneaky bits, but this one is bare-facedly canon-compliant and so much fun and a complete hoot without being utter crack (not that there's anything wrong with utter crack, but you really get some credit here).

Breaking All The Rules

. . . but this one is bare-facedly canon-compliant . . .

LOL. Now there are eight words I never would have thought I'd hear about this story, but I'm thrilled all the same to hear them. And I don't disagree either. In fact, the Southwark Swingers Club is sort of a natural extension of Hogwarts in many ways. The old gang's still together, still doin' stuff in an old building with lots of different rooms. Although, obviously the "stuff" they're doing has changed a bit ;D I'm so glad you enjoyed this. I had an absolute blast writing it.
Oh, man. Just great big YAY! This was so awesome. I loved the concept, loved the writing, loved the porn, the ending, all of it. So damn engaging and fun and even romantic.

I love fics where Ginny is supportive of Harry being with Draco. I loved the way you explained it here--totally believable. I also loved how their relationship was woven between the details of their every day lives.

The chemistry between them just crackled and the eventual payoff was fantastic, despite the temporary interruption.

Breaking All The Rules

I love that you saw the romance in this because, yeah, it's ridiculously romantic. If I'd set anywhere except a swingers club, it might have become even *too* romantic (or at least cliched).

Thank you so much for reading and commenting, my dear. I'm so glad you enjoyed this. I had an absolute blast writing it :D
Okay, I don't think I've ever had such a turn-around in my reaction to a fic. Ever. On the first read I sort of, um, missed the warnings for crack. So I was taken off-guard, and by the time we got to Hermione in the Chair of Love, I was like, "All right, WHATEVER." And I went on to something else. But I didn't actually close the tab. Later, I came back to it, went to close it, but sort of scrolled around to remind myself what it was, and ended up going, "Oh, hey, this is actually...kind of hot. This is actually...extremely, scorchingly hot." And then I went back and reread from the beginning, better prepared for the fic's premise, and I discovering many delightful, clever elements that I'd missed on the first (obviously rushed) read-through.

So get this. The tab is STILL OPEN. I can't bring myself to close it! Every time I reread the fic, I like it more! It is hilarious! It is hot! And underneath it all, there is a really beautiful H/D story. (Every single time Draco takes off his mask and kisses Harry, I melt. Yes, it doesn't matter how many times I read it. It happens every time.) I am now horrified that I, at one point, did not intend to finish this fic, as it's one of my favorites of the fest. Anyway, fantastic job! And wish me luck bringing myself to close this tab sometime this week.
Okay, what has it been, two weeks now? I am only NOW, finally closing this tab. Laughing at myself, but thought you would get a kick out of that. ♥
I join the ranks in admiring the brilliance of this cracktastic fic! Hilarious, hot, and actually maintaining a coherent storyline and surprisingly believable characters, all at the same time? Not to mention the amazingly, truly touching, emotional H/D moments thrown in alongside all the leather, cat ears, indiscriminate extramarital sex and kink? Awesome-sauce. I don't know how you managed to pull it off, but I'm so glad you did!

Breaking All The Rules

Thank you so much! I'm glad you enjoyed it - and I'm especially glad that you saw the love story behind all the silliness. I had a blast writing this. It's wonderful knowing that readers had a blast reading it :D
"Raise your hand and say 'Aye,' mate," Harry said out of the corner of his mouth when Seamus started, blinking and wiping the drool off his chin with the back of his hand.

"What are we voting on?" Seamus whispered. "The last thing I remember is debating whether the secretary should take meeting notes on both sides of the parchment or just one."

"I'm buggered if I know," Harry replied. "But for the love of all things holy, Finnigan, just say 'Aye'."

I reread this part like 20 times. I've never, ever laughed so much while reading a fic! This is so hilarious!! Many other parts made me laugh like crazy as well. Great characterization of Draco and I love horny Harry =) I was pleasantly surprised to enjoy something labeled as "crack fic" so much.
Thank you for your story!

Breaking All The Rules

LOL! So glad you enjoyed this scene. I had this picture in my head of Seamus waking up and just automatically shooting his hand in the air and shouting "Aye!" while his hair is still all askew and he's got drool on his chin and notebook spiral marks on his cheek. LOL. I was drawing on experience with that scene. I can't count how many times in law school I and my friends would have to nudge each other to keep us awake while our professors droned on and on :D
OMG -- it's fanfic for the This Life generation!! In Southwark, even!!!!!! And I am not a serial abuser of punctuation, but these are not normal circumstances.

I loved this so very much. It's tremendously silly, but written with such verve, vigour, vim and other words starting with V. I particularly love the way that things are illuminated in the side passages of your text; and Draco's speech on respect was just heartbreaking. Quick fanning for the sex scenes, and brief concern at the rash Draco will end up with from those nylon knickers (natural fabrics, dear boy!) and I have realised that what seems to be frippery throughout actually resonates and sparks off bigger ideas within this story's world. Just how elastic is Ginny and Harry's relationship after all? Fascinating and provocative -- well done!

Breaking All The Rules

And I am not a serial abuser of punctuation, but these are not normal circumstances.

LOL! Yes, I have always admired your punctuational restraint :D I, on the other hand, am positively anal-expulsive with my punctuation. Let me demonstrate:

OMG! Yay!!! I'm so thrilled you enjoyed this smutty little romp of mine :D And I'm even more glad that you saw the more serious story underneath. I, too, wonder how elastic Harry and Ginny's relationship is.

And speaking of "elastic" . . . . .

Someone should, indeed, counsel counselor Malfoy on the non-breathing properties of synthetic fabrics. *shudders*

Thank you, my darling :)
I'm afraid I won't be able to manage anything more eloquent than "guh". This is the hottest thing I've read in a looong while.

I should mention that I love the fact that Harry and Ginny have such an open and loving relationship. You actually made me like Harry/Ginny as a pairing, which is quite a feat.

That's all I can manage right now, I think. You've effectively rendered me speechless. Well done!

Breaking All The Rules

Thank you :) I'm so glad you enjoyed it. And seeing as, like you, I'm not at all a fan of Harry/Ginny, I'm glad I could pull off a believable and non-nausea-inducing portrayal of their relationship.
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January 2010

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