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Team AU: 3. A poisonous toadstool never changes its spots.

Title: Non Faux Pas
Team: AU
Author: the_gubette
Prompt: 3. A poisonous toadstool never changes its spots.
Wordcount: 6000
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Non-magic, slight OOC, graphic sex, rimming, top!Draco
Summary: When Harry agrees to take etiquette lessons with his best friend, he learns much more than he planned.
Author's Note: I'm so not a deadline person, so this was a challenge for me in many ways. I may actually be more proud that I completed this on time more than the fact that I completed it at all. I absolutely could not have done it without my ljbff lotus_lizzy, my rlbff, mrdavismd, and my favorite canon-loving straight!boy, maccalla, who should practically receive co-author credit.

Non Faux Pas


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Comments

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Well this was brilliant!

I'm not usually a fan of non-magic AUs, but they way you've managed to incorporate the important bits of what maeks the trio The Trio and how Draco fits in just seems to work in this really well. The bit with Snape and the heels. Oh man...

I love the build-up to the romance and how understanding Ron was. And Hermione's reaction to them taking lessons. Also, the sex was hot.

Brilliant work, absolutely brilliant!
Aww, thanks honey! I'm so glad you were my first comment. Thanks for your great comment!
Very sweet and well done AU. I hardly missed the magic. :)
I'm glad! I've never written non-magic before, so I wasn't sure if I could pull it off. I'm happy you liked it!
cute! yay for bringing some top!draco action ;) liked seeing funny!ron and his attempts at making hermione happy as well.
I gotta have my dose of top!draco action. I'm glad you liked it! :)
Very cute story. I liked that Draco was forward enough to tell Harry how much he wanted him.
Draco always goes for what he wants, magic or no magic. :) Thanks!
Oh, how incredibly romantic! The scenario using Draco and Snape in Non Faux Pas, Harry and Ron taking etiquette lessons, the upscale Grangers--all of it was refreshingly original. But my god, the UST in this near killed me! But it was so satisfying resolved. I love your characters--still a bit their canon selves--Draco even a bit snooty, but not over done--but all of them seemed mature enough for twenty-nine.

Really great job, Capt Sam! And extra Kudos for Snape with a dead-kitten smile!
Thanks Capt Joan! I love love love UST, as long as it ends happily! Thanks for your sweet comment. :)
awww...great fic!
Thanks so much!
This was very sweet. Snape made the PERFECT etiquette school manager- and he was so Snape that it was beyond perfect! And of course, Draco would work there- he'd be the perfect manners expert! I was a little surprised that Hermione's parents were so rich and upper-class. I never imagined them that way. I also never would have thought of Harry dating Neville (still not sure about that one actually).

Ron and Harry were so perfect though. Those are the personalities we all know and love from the books- they were incredibly true to themselves and really well written. I think Hermione was perfect by the way she reacted to the whole etiquette lesson thing too- I couldn't ever imagine her wanting to put Ron through that (I mean, he's not particularly classy, but you have to love him for it).

I loved the way Draco let Harry know he was interested- that was incredibly hot. And then you threw in some smut, oh so perfectly! I was really upset when he didn't call Harry back, but the ending more than made up for my initial disappointment- that was lovely! I completely forgot that they were all normally supposed to be magical- somehow it seemed like they were anyway. Well done!
I actually think a Harry/Neville relationship would be dreadfully boring - no spark whatsoever! Draco/Neville is another story. I tried very hard to keep the characterizations in line with canon, even though it was non-magic, so I'm very happy that you thought they fit!

Your comments are always so thoughtful as well as helpful. Thanks so much. I'm glad you enjoyed it! :)
I loved this fic, Capt! I couldn't help wishing it was longer... wonderful and romantic and the UST had a great build up. Surprisingly I loved Ron, too, and I can probably count on one hand the times I've said that, haha. =)
I'm so not a Ron fan much either! I'm glad you liked him in this. He can be a tricky character to get just right. As soon as I submitted it, I got tons of ideas for potential additional scenes throughout the story...maybe I'll jot some down just for you! Thanks so much! :)
Yay! I totally loved that story. I can so see Draco doing a job like that.

I usually avoid non-magic stories, but the lack of it didn't detract from your story at all. There were some great little touches too - like Snape wearing women's shoes!

Strangely enough, I can quite imagine him doing that!!
Strangely enough, I can quite imagine him doing that!!

Me too! I didn't know if that was going to work at first, but as soon as I wrote it, I knew it was perfect for him. I'm so glad you enjoyed it!
Well first off, I love you. Just wanted to get that out of the way!!

Okay, onto the fic. When you first came up with the concept I was thrilled. I LOVE non-magical AU....so much!!!!

And this fic was just the sweetest thing. I love snarky sophisticated Draco and clueless Harry. And you wrote Hermione/Ron! They were just so cute :)

Wonderful job honey! :) :)
Aww, I love you too! You know snarky!draco and clueless!harry are my absolute favorites!

I'm so glad you liked it. You're one of the those people whose opinion is extra special to me. Thanks so much!
Cute plot and nice use of the prompt!
Thanks, I'm glad you think so! :)
Etiquette lessons! That is awesome! Really great plot, and this was just so funny but so realistic at the same time.

And Sev with his high heels! HEE. I so want to draw that now.

I am very glad Draco thought out his priorities. He would totally have a job like that and hey, Harry was in the ride for it. Of course he would have to learn the ropes and ladders of how to be "proper."

Really nice flow and build up of getting the boys together. I loved Ron and Hermione. You were really good with characterizations. Nice job, Captain!
What a great comment! I'm very happy that you enjoyed my story. You should totally draw Snape in stilettos! There is so much hot potential there! Thanks! :)
Oh, so cute. I must admit I've read more AU during this fest than I have in years. Fun and lively with a unique twist to it. The etiquette lessons were truly great. Thanks!
(because AU ROCKS and So do you, baby!) *loves the winnett*

Edited at 2009-04-21 09:07 pm (UTC)
It's killing me not to VOTE! GAH!

I just love this to pieces. The etiquette agency was a stroke of brilliance, Harry and Ron's friendship was carried over so perfectly from canon and that electric chemistry between our boys was sizzling!

And Snape's shoes? BAWAAAAAHAHAHA!

Snape's lips curled into what could almost be called a smile. It wasn't a nice smile. It was a smile that alluded to the death of kittens and crushed flowers.
favorite line. EVER!

I adore you and your fairytale ending that made me all wibly! *happy sigh*

Go TEAM AU!!!!!! (and top!Draco. He's all kinds of nummy!

I love me some top!Draco!!!! And I might have peed my pants just a little because you commented on my fic. I'm seriously thrilled that you liked it. I actually got the idea for Snape's smile from something my mom likes to tell me - "Oh, that's such a nice smile. You must be plotting someone's murder." So I have a kinship with Sev!

Thank you so much for commenting! :)
Yay thanks! I'm so glad you liked it! :)
The last two lines made me tear up. This was really sweet and cute and fantastic. I loved all of this so much. Awesome work.

And the bit with Snape in heels made me stop and contemplate that concept for at least 15 minutes. I quite enjoyed those minutes, I must say.
I'm so happy that you loved it. And I'm very happy you enjoyed those minutes - I think I would have as well! :)
BWEEEE!!!!!!

This was so much fun! Top!Draco was wonderful, as was the dynamic between Harry and Ron. :)

*loves loves loves*

Another top!Draco fan! Yay! Draco doesn't get near the top action he deserves. I'm glad you had fun! :)
cute
Thanks!
Awww! I love it! It was so great! I love the part at the end about kissing everyday! All of your characters matched Cannon characteristics perfectly!

Well done Baby Boo Bear!

Michael
Thank you boo! :)
I enjoyed this loads! So much fun and originality :) And I loved how you pulled off all the characters.

Btw I can't stop thinking about Snape in stilettos - I think they suit him :))
Btw I can't stop thinking about Snape in stilettos - I think they suit him

Me too! That was a stroke of brilliance that I can't take all the credit for, but I LOVE the idea! :)
This was a lot of fun to read! I took an etiquette lesson for a student business association, and this brought back a lot of fun memories and sympathetic eye-rolling.

I really like how you worked in the prompt line. It was so out-there. I laughed. (warning: mid-west '90s American pop culture reference coming up) I totally thought of how Tim from Home Improvement would scramble the wise sayings he hears from Wilson, but still make up a meaning for it. I like this version of Ron :)
I love Home Improvement! I can totally see Ron doing the same thing as Tim. Thanks!
This is just so lovely!
Thank you! :)
The etiquette classes idea was bril! This was really sweet and there were so many fun moments in it that I adore - such as Snape wearing heels, and the Harry/Ron/Hermione friendship was great too. :)
Thank you so much! :)
You had me the moment Snape showed up in high heels. :DDDD
Wasn't that great! I have to say, it wasn't completely my idea, but I love the mental image of Snape strutting around in stilettos! Thanks for your comment!
You did a fantastic job of transporting the trio friendship into another world. Ron is quite wonderful here. I adored his response to Harry announcing his sexuality! I also adored Hermione's reaction when she found out they were taking etiquette lessons. And Ron's reaction when Harry didn't hear from Draco made me want to absolutely squish him with love. I was a bit heartbroken for Harry for a while but the ending was perfect!

...and Snape in heels FTW!
Yay! I loved Ron in this as well. He's a great friend. Thanks for your comment! :)
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