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Team AU: 18. "This one time, at Hogwarts..."

Title: Veiled Threats
Team: AU
Author: cyane_snape
Prompt: 18. "This one time, at Hogwarts..."
Wordcount: 22,369
Rating: NC-17ish
Warnings: Mpreg, misbehaving Veela, dirty words, dirtier sex.
Summary: No one had any idea what had really happened that eventful year, but then there was that one day they all remembered…that one time, at the final battle at Hogwarts when everything changed and Harry and Draco disappeared. According to the authorities, the savior had been kidnapped and the Minister had no other choice than to issue a warrant for the immediate arrest of Draco Malfoy on charges of treason.
Author's Note: None of this would have been possible without my beta, Gavilan the Great. Special thanks to sugareey, joanwilder, and dylansbuzz for the added 'spark' of inspiration and MajaLi for the coding help.

Veiled Threats


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1. Is the author/artist true to their team? Yes/No vote ("yes" is worth 2 points, "no" is worth 0)

2. How well did the author/artist use their Prompt? 1 to 9 (1 being the least)

3. How much did you like this story/art overall? 1 to 9 (1 being the least)

Comments

I absolutely loved the very first section of this story- it was catchy and grabbed at me. After that, well, I clearly had to continue reading (very well done on that!). I liked the twist in which the curious circumstances involved both of them being special, although I quite like the idea of who Harry’s parents are in the books and was a bit sad that it was all lies. I also tend to think of Draco as the more submissive one, so it was interesting to read a story where the reverse is true- I liked getting that other vantage point.

I thought it was interesting that they accepted their togetherness so well, but I suppose that Draco did pass out. I still think I would have liked more of the ‘but wait! He’s my sworn enemy and I can’t love him’ sentiments. Maybe I’m just a sucker for those kinds of stories. I thought Harry was a bit too angsty at the beginning (even though he had every right to be), but I thought it was fine once he cooled down about everything (a third of the way into the story or so). I thought Draco was fantastically written throughout.

Their family was very sweet and I liked that they all stood up for them in court and that everything ended happily ever after. You’ve written well, also, and your style flowed well from scene to scene. You’ve told an interesting story here!
Thanks, I tried to make them equally strong:Harry stronger in magic; Draco the dominant partner. I hope it worked. Thanks again..
It's up! I'll be reading this tonight. From the very beginning, I was enchanted by your idea.
Thanks. I hope you like it.
I have to confess that I've never read a Veela story before. What an interesting culture--the specifics of Harry's lineage, the change in their appearances and powers, the bonding, and then children--I found all of it fascinating. And I really did feel for Harry in that scene on the Quidditch pitch--the final straw, discovering he'd been misled again.

The trial at the end met all my expectations of what I hoped would happen--I really liked that scene a lot--the Veela's entrance, Harry standing up for his mate, how changed and beautiful he was...and all the two of them wanted was peace and to be left alone. What you did with Scrimgeour...well, I don't want to spoil it here, but you had me grinning because I've never really liked the man.

Excellent use of your prompt, fine writing, and a wonderfully creative AU world!
Thanks. There's a billion veela fics out there and I just tried to make mine a little different.
I have a 'thing' about all the crap that Dumbledore threw at Harry and just how much of it a real person would be willing to take.

The Scrimgeour thing was what came to me after I asked for help from our glorious team. Couldn't have done it without themm.
very sweet
Thanks.
Oh! I haven't had a chance to read more than just the very first bit but seeing Harry sprout wings tells me this is going to be good! :D I also love that Snape's taking on a substantive role!

Can't wait to read more! Go team! ♥
My goodness--what a whirlwind of a world you've created! The surprises kept coming--Harry the crown prince! I liked how Remus and Severus and Albus and Minerva got excellent cameos, and I thought your descriptions were very visual. What a story--great job for Team AU! *pom poms*
Thanks so much. I tried to create a 'new' world. Descriptions are my weakness. Dialogue is so much easier to write.
Bweeee! I had so much fun with this the first time around, and even more on re-reading it! :D I'll try to leave a more coherent comment later, but I'm about to crash now. Will plug on journal in the morning. Because for some silly reason people clearly have not been giving you enough love for this li'l jewel.

*smooshes you*

*toddles off*
Get some sleep. This fic will be here when you wake. I'm glad you liked it.
Still reading, but I'm a sucker for creature fic! *drools*
be back soon!
I don't know why, but I loved the password to Dumbledore's office. It was the icing on the cake of the first section for me. heh.
I was a little nervous when Harry started to destroy the pitch - a place he truly loved (or at least canon!Harry did). Well done on making it so visual, eerie and emotionally (and magically) charged. I hated to see Harry in so much anguish, but then again, it was stunning to watch.

I'm also a sucker for mpreg and daddy fic, so I loved that part of the story a lot. I have never - in all my nine-ish years in the HP fandom - seen the use of the burka for any character. That choice was really interesting. I'd be totally interested in hearing how you came up with that idea. (it did come in handy in that courtroom scene, didn't it? AWESOME!)

I also liked the black and white wings, and their speedy transformations into the roles of husband/mate and father/protector.

I'm dying to know what happened with Harry's friends? Did he really just vanish without telling them anything? I find that hard to believe, but maybe we can tag that onto the veela protectiveness while Harry was pregnant? :D

Well done on the AU and prompt!
I'll confess. This is a kernal of a much longer fic that I had planned out. I don't know if it will ever get done now. I was going to have the boys travelling and exploring their relationship together for a while before bringing them back to Hogwarts. But the story would have been well over 100K words.
Thanks and there are no hard feelings at all. I just used his heritage to explain how he could have creature blood and if he wasn't Lily's child, he wouldn't have green eyes. I needed something visual and immediate for Snape and Draco to recognize. That seemed easiest.

I tried to make them stay as strong and masculine as I could.
thanks
Cyane
Hey dearie! *high fives and AU hugs* I've had a crazy amount of work and RL sneaking up on me, but it makes me so happy to see a longer fic up here... as soon as I have a little while to myself, I can't wait to start this! =)
rofl @ "Suddenly Harry cried out, "YES! Holy Merlin, think of all the poor straight guys who never get to feel THAT!"

*nods*
After reading a lot of slash, I actually thought that. Straight boys are just missing so much.:)
Hey Cyane! I haven't had a chance to read your fic yet (and i'm off to work for the day so I won't get to it until tonight sadly) but with warnings like Veela, Dirty words, and dirtier sex in there I am soooo excited to get to read it! *bounces around*

GO TEAM AU! We are going to ROCK THIS FEST!! *squishhugs*

I'll leave a proper review when I'm done!
Yay!! I'm such a sucker for a Veela fic.

I thought the details of this story were amazing. I don't think I've ever read a story where Harry is Sirius's son, so that was very creative to me. And yay for Top!Draco!!! That always makes me happy. The burka was such an interesting touch, and I loved the detail you showed in the Veela heritage background.

You can totally tell that you put a lot of time and energy into this story, and I appreciate that. Great job, hun!!
The burka thing came from veelas being so beautiful and people fawning all over them. PLUS pregnant women 'glow' and are beautiful. So I decided that a pregnant veela would be too beautiful to handle, thus the burka.

Thanks.
I absolutely love veela:Harry&Draco and this story especially just hit the right spot for me I was cheering Harry on when he went to get Draco from the Wizengamot and really imaginative piece of writing, loved it
Thank you. I love veela stories too, but have only written a couple. This is one I've wanted to write for a while.

Veiled Threats

That. Was. FABULOUS! I loved this so much. It grabbed me and tugged me along for a ride like nothing else! I love creaturefic - and this is definitely a new favourite!

Re: Veiled Threats

Thanks. I'm glad you liked it. I love creature fics too.

Cyane Snape's comment on story origins

I thought I’d make a post to explain a few details of my story.

First, regarding Harry’s heritage. I decided that James and Lily could not be Harry’s parents based upon what we know about their families, James was a pureblood and Lily muggleborn. Having Sirius as his father made sense. If he was kidnapped as an infant and not really a Black that could explain why he never fell in with the whole Black family/dark magic thing and why his ‘mother’ didn’t like him.

If Sirius had deeply loved this woman and she died in childbirth, he wouldn’t have felt able to care for a child at the time. He was not prepared for the responsibilities of fatherhood without her. [Even though deep down I KNOW he’s gay and mad for Remus.]

The blue eyes thing came from a need for Draco and Severus to have a visible and immediate way of recognizing what Harry was and for Draco to accept this veela instincts and know that Harry was his mate.

We know nothing about veela from canon beyond a few lines. There’s a lot of fanon info, but I wanted to make something different. I love the world of magic and the possibilities it can create up to and including gay/lesbian relationships being accepted fully and that magic can create the possibility of male pregnancy. It gives Harry the chance to have a family of his own [without the redheaded fangirl].

All we really know about veela is how beautiful they are and that men fall all over themselves when they see them. That led to a train of thought of if there would ever be a situation where a veela needed to hide his or her beauty for protection. What better situation than pregnancy?

Where did the idea of the burka germinate from? I always felt sorry for the women who were forced to wear these heavy clothes until one film I saw explained how they were also used to protect the women from predators [i.e. men].

I still wouldn’t want to wear one though.

Thanks for all the reviews. I’ll try to respond as quickly as possible but I’m on a cruise in Mexico [yesterday Puerto Vallarta, today Mazatlan, tomorrow Cabo san Lucas…] and the Internet is ridiculously expensive. I’ll be back on Monday and make sure to respond to anyone I’ve missed.
I will admit this, I don't like mpreg. But, I wanted to see what you came up with your story, and the mpreg didn't bother me at all.

I loved how you introduced the story of the Veelas and how their history entwines Harry and Draco together. The wings were a great addition! And the story and I couldn't help but laugh whenever Harry had a temper. That is soooo him! And the fancy titles...are made of win!

I love Snape in this. He is all calm about everything and you really were really true to his character. Yay!

I'm glad I was able to inspire you somewhat for this story. Can I tell you I love the ending? LOVE IT.

So I say, a very interesting twist to AU. Woot!
Thanks. I know there are people who don't like mpreg. I try to make it as painless as possible for those. If it's magic, I feel I don't have to go into the details of the actual birthing process.

The ending part with Scrimgeour was the part you all inspired. I had it down to the confrontation, but not the BIG finish.

Thanks again for your help.
I liked the Veela story in which Draco or Harry turns out to be one and the other turns out to be his mate. I do not think I have read very many in which they are both Veela, so this was refreshing in that sense. Harry's angst was justified, but there was a moment or two when I felt that it was a bit over the top, but that it was okay because I found it more amusing than anything.

I very much liked Snape and Narcissa's roles in this fic. I liked that Narcaissa really cared for her son and showed it more often than you might see in the books, except towards the end of the 7th. And also that she accepted Harry for who and what he was and even before she found out that he was her son's mate she welcomed him into her family and wanted to be that mother figure he never really had. I liked how Snape complained about going to go collect Harry. Then, however, he grew to like and respect Harry.

For me the story would have been perfect, but for one thing. I felt that in the beginning you spent some time illustrating Harry as a strong character that despite his angst can handle himself. Then you presented Draco as a Draco, but a bit more tentative. Especially when dealing with Harry. Not that I did not like Draco, I love that Draco. But then suddenly they both seem to switch roles and Harry is this meeker character than he was before. Maybe it is just because I prefere top!Harry, but I felt that the about face was a bit abrupt. Other wise, I loved your story. Especially the end in which all and sundry show up to save Draco and punish the evil Minister.
Thanks.In the first part, I tried to portray Harry as the dominant partner, magically at least. I felt Draco would feel insecure about a new relationship with Harry after being enemies for so long.He was also having to adjust to an inheritance that was new for him. Harry could have refused him as a mate.

Once they settled as a couple, Harry let Draco take control. It seems that since everyone had demanded so much from Harry all his life, letting someone he trusts completely take control like that would be a welcomed relief.

Neither one is weak, they just trade off controlling situations.

Thanks for reading and commenting.

re: Veiled Threats

Okay, this must be the Harry Potter-Veela version of Tarantino's "From Dusk till Dawn" ;-). I never expected such a tremendous tour de force, even after having read the summary. Your imagination is something else! I loved all the elaborate background of Veela culture - the blue eyes as a sign of Veela Royalty, the magical powers of Veela!Harry. It was quite startling how you re-interpreted the burka and veil to actually be a clothing of distinction and protection - not so much protection of Harry, really, but of all the others from Harry's Veela allure. Plot-wise, I was most impressed with how you spun from one moment - This one time, at Hogwarts ... - such a complex, multi-layered and exotic tale. This is truly amazing. This story could be even more effective, I think, if your pov-writing was a bit more precise. I really want to encourage you to check out some of the fanfic writing manuals in that respect. Really, you have an amazing story-telling gift which needs but little more technique to be fully realised. Thanks so very much for writing!

Re: Veiled Threats

I shall have to check out the Tarantino flic, I've never seen it. I have also never seen "Band Camp", the source of the quote so I wasn't influenced by the original source. It just seemed very simple to me.

With regard to the POV, I wrote this in 3rd person omniscient. Where I purposely played with the pov at the transition between the story of Harry and Draco getting together and the post-war/married situation. I wanted that "wow, that was all told as part of a pensieve story?" The whole pensieve thing just seemed to link the two sections together without having to spend a lot of time writing backstory. I very rarely write 1st person.

Thanks so much for your constructive comments.
or even that Neville's toad has a secret plan to take over the world!

The Trevor fangirl in me loves you so much for this line.

*cuddles Trevor*
Stories like these are my secret love. Because they are adorable and made of awesome.
A few things surprised me:
-That Harry thought about "straight men" during sex
-That they went to America
-Harry wore a burka
-They bought clubbing outfits (rofl)

The parts that made me really happy?
-morning sex instead of right-after-bonding-sex
-They made PURPLE
-PRETTY BABIES! then TWINS!
-WINGS (O.O) YAY
-They liked each others smells... teehee
-the last scene, where I thought 'wow Lily was amazing!"

So, I can't really speak in coherent sentences. This Comment is made of *squee*

Great job
I really liked the use of the prompt here! It could have been used in so many different ways and this is certainly a unique and original path you've taken us on. Well done!
Thanks. I didn't know the original source of the prompt so it kept me from having a predeterimined direction. Glad you liked it.
Oh! I love veela!fic so much. And the two of them turning the ministry on its ears was fantastic!
I love veelas also, especially since we can make up our own 'canon' for them. Thanks.
This was quite intriguing with both of them being Veela, and how you described their heritage. I also liked the end with Scrimgeour's hiden motives revealed. Well done!
Thank you so much. I'm glad you liked it.
That was amazing!!!
OMG, that was AWESOME!!!!

January 2010

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