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Team AU: 23. A snitch in time saves nine hours of Quidditch.

Title: Enchantment; Loss
Team: AU
Author: dracofiend
Prompt: 23. A snitch in time saves nine hours of Quidditch.
Wordcount: 11,589
Rating: R
Warnings:Implied chan.
Summary: Harry wishes for one thing only.
Author's Note: Mad props to my teammates, especially Captains Joanwilder and Samantha!

Enchantment; Loss

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This poll is closed.

1. Is the author/artist true to their team? Yes/No vote ("yes" is worth 2 points, "no" is worth 0)

2. How well did the author/artist use their Prompt? 1 to 9 (1 being the least)

3. How much did you like this story/art overall? 1 to 9 (1 being the least)


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Wow, this is bloody amazing... I will not say more about the story fear I might set off a spoiler... This is wonderful, I loved how you make hints and have snap shouts of the story line, the implied, underlining relationship... It is all just so amazingly brillient!! This is one that really hit me in this game, I am still in a haze :). Great work!
Thank you so much for the lovely feedback! I'm especially happy the impliedness of Harry and Lucius' relationship worked for you--it was kind of a delicate balance because I didn't want to scare anyone off :) but it was really important to me, to show Harry's vulnerability and his susceptibility to being drawn in by beautiful, almost untouchable, things.
This was very interesting. You've retold the story well. I found it all a bit confusing, as I tried to figure out all the relationships between characters (I still don't think I understand all of them). I really enjoyed Harry and Draco's banter- and it broke my heart with sweetness when Harry gave Ron his best present. He is just too kind. I wish Ron could have appreciated the sacrifice more. This was heart-breaking, but touching. I felt so badly for Draco when he came to tell Harry about his parents. He was such a lovable, but still acidic and snarky, character here.
Thanks so much for reading and commenting! I'm glad you enjoyed Harry and Draco here--I had some doubts as to whether their relationship would be prominent enough, and slashy enough, for readers. I think, if it would've worked to write from multiple POVs, it would've been clearer that Draco was harboring a deep-seated admiration and crush on Harry, that Lucius had been taking advantage of Harry for the purpose of certain calculations re: the Dark Lord (which calculations Lucius may or may not have revised in the end), and that Harry was more than a little blinded by his attachment to Lucius, who was elegant and certain and powerful and protective.
Whoa, this was interesting. A bit confusing, but definitely good. I loved the Harry/Lucius since it's one of my favourite pairings :3 And for me, personally, it could've been even more explicit *g*

Voldemort's sudden appearance was completely unexpected, but I already thought it was him at the mention of the 'stranger'. But before that, I didn't expect Voldemort to be involved at all. I loved Harry and Draco's friendship and... yes :) Great job!
*laughs* Oh yes, I have to admit, when I initially thought of this story, it was slated to be explicit chan, with a high rating--due to Harry/Lucius, not Harry/Draco. In the end though, it seemed to work better if the Harry/Lucius aspect was more on the impressionistic side--though I have some vague thoughts about writing an additional scene for posting to my own journal after this fest is finished. :D We'll see though, as I am very lazy.

I'm glad Voldemort kind of sprang up on you--that was how it was for Harry too, who, as far as he could remember, had never been seriously threatened by Voldemort until bam, he's sitting next to the guy at dinner. I'm curious as to what you found unclear or confusing--and let me say up front that I often find myself writing a bit more opaquely than I'd like! :) If I were to guess, I might say it was the pacing--the jump ahead in years might not be especially, instantly clear--but I'm interested in your thoughts.

Thanks so much for reading and the kind words!
This is really intriguing, with Harry and Draco starting off as friends.

At least from what I can tell, Harry is kind of amazed by Lucius and what kind of person he is, Lucius was using Harry a bait, and Draco was basically jealous for Harry's attention, but you know, ended up getting it at the end.

I like this AU. With Harry and Draco and what they would have been like had they been friends in the beginning. Nice use of the prompt by the way!

Go Team AU! =D
*high fives* Yay Team! Thanks so much for reading!

I'm thrilled that Lucius came across that way--through Harry's eyes, he was this new type of person, a new type of man that Harry had never met before. Not petty and disciplinarian, like his aunt and uncle, not kindly but rough-edged, like Hagrid, and not ordinary people with ordinary jobs like the random Muggles he knew (or their wizarding analogues--teachers, etc.). The feeling I think Harry had for Lucius, at first, was maybe something close to reverence--and you know, Lucius is kind to him, in his elegant, warm-but-distant manner. I have to say I'm not decided as to whether Lucius was ultimately using Harry as bait to save himself difficulties in the future (or to catapault him into a more favorable position), although I'm inclined to believe that was his original intention in paying special attention to Harry. After all, a snitch in time, right? :D I'm also glad you read Draco's reactions as jealousy--it was ill-defined, I think because Draco wouldn't have been able to pin it down himself. Harry's one of his best friends, and he senses a closeness between his best friend and his father, and that just...doesn't translate well into an actual accusation of anything.
I reread it just now, and I have to say that there are so many subtle things I missed the first time around. I do like how understated the Harry/Lucius is, but you still manage to underscore how essential the relationship is to Harry. And poor Harry, keeping such a secret for so long, but I think Draco knew. I did wonder if that last time Harry sees Lucius before the banquet if Lucius did what he did to spare them...both, maybe, knowing what was to come?

That moment when Draco's first released at GP and sticks his head into Harry's room, I think is the most heartbreaking moment of the story. And at the end when Draco asks if Harry's forgotten, and Harry tells him, how could I-you always remind me? Lovely double-entendre, but I was encouraged that the ache was finally gone, and now Harry sees Draco.

As always, you handle your subject and characters so deftly that the progression is very natural and seamless. Beautiful word craft and writing that yield such a stunning overall effect. Just lovely!
Hi! Thanks so much for rereading and for the very kind thoughts! Yes, to be honest, Harry's relationship with Lucius in this story is the most important one to me personally, as that's what motivated me to write it--but Draco, in the end, is the one who salvages Harry from it (to the extent that's the right word)...I guess I mean, Draco wields a certain transfigurative ability with respect to Harry's perceptions of himself, his relationship with Lucius, etc., because Draco knows Harry similar to the way in which Lucius knew Harry (though of course, without the benefit of so much adulthood), and Draco has almost as much of Harry's trust as Lucius did (and one day, Draco will exceed Lucius in that regard). Of course, Draco's relationship with Harry is vastly different in that Draco depends on Harry in a way or to a degree that Lucius didn't, so there's that too.

I think there's plenty of room to believe that Lucius swerved from whatever bad intent he had at the start, and arranged for Harry (and also his son) to be delivered to GP--perhaps he was getting anxious that Harry didn't seem interested in his soup, and wasn't reaching for the portkey-spoon, and if the next course came out, Harry's chance would be past. Alternatively, he could've just been concerned that Harry was not presenting himself well at the dining table. :D

Enchantment; Loss

This was such a breathtaking story. I very much liked the narrative voice, so clear and distinguished. The sense of threat never left the story, I felt at unease the whole time while I was reading it.

I had the impression that this story was much more about Lucius/Harry than about Harry/Draco, and for me, this added to the feeling of threat, because I simply don't get the appeal of chan. This is not a criticism about your story, just personal taste. I never had the impression that there was more between Harry and Draco than friendship.

Re: Enchantment; Loss

Hi! Thank you so much for reading and taking the time to comment! I was really pleased to read your comment because I absolutely agree that this kind of situation ought to provoke a sense of unease--clearly, Lucius is a bad actor here, and Harry should know better (certainly when he's 18 or 19, he definitely would know better then) though I'd be hard pressed to blame him for anything. I also admit that for me, the story is more about Harry and Lucius, simply because that's where the idea sprang from in my mind--although Harry's relationship with Draco is instrumental (the way I see it) in that it helps Harry become fully realized as an adult, as himself. Draco is real to Harry in a way that Lucius never quite was--partly because Harry is actually closer to Draco (in terms of mundane interactions) and more familiar with him. It's true that Harry and Draco are friends for the majority of the story (though I might say that Draco has a substantial unrequited crush on Harry during much of their childhood! :D) but by the end, I see them holding hands, walking away from the Manor, going to lunch or dinner or whatever, and going back to wherever they live together. ♥

Thanks again for reading, despite the chan warning--I'm really happy you took a chance on this!
I love the many layers here and the masterful way you peel them back for us, one by one until we see what's truly happening. So many complexities! I mean, we have the Harry/Draco dynamic, the magnetic pull of Harry/Lucius and a third connection with Harry's friends who really don't understand what Harry sees in the other two.

I don't know why it hit me so hard, but the scene where Harry gives his broom to Ron is just...guh! I think I even shed a tear because Harry was trying so hard to please, and at the same time, Ron being totally oblivious to the sacrifice made me a little cross with him! You played with my emotions! Are you happy now? hee hee. *love*

Speaking of emotions, what an amazing job you did with pulling us along. Teasing us with Lucius at the door of Harry's room, making us laugh with Draco's confused jealousy over their new Ministry jobs, shocking us at the Malfoy's dinner party, and finally allowing us to breathe again once Draco takes Harry's hand at the end.

Lovely work. So proud of you, teammate! *hugs and highfives*

Thanks so much for all the supernice comments! I'm happy the Harry/Lucius seemed magnetic to you, because that's seriously how it felt to me--I was compelled to write it! :D As for Harry giving away his broom--somehow I could just imagine Harry doing something like that, like he's down to this one thing that anyone could possibly want, and he feels so torn because he loves with at the Manor, with Draco (with Lucius!) but he wonders, a little, if he should like it quite so much, when he's sort of turning his back on Ron. And he and Ron are quite close too (though I didn't really stress that much in the story), given that they live in the same dorm for 7 years.

That's funny you mentioned teasing the readers with Lucius at the door--I like that idea of Lucius kind of being faint but present throughout, because there's not actually all that much dialogue or interaction shown between Harry and Lucius. I did mention in another comment that I have this whole scene in my head that would take this fic up a big step in terms of rating, and blow the impliedness of the chan out of the water, but I'm not sure yet if I'll be in the right frame of mind to write it when this show is done! :D
What a chilling and horrific (but in a really good way!) story. Lucius was creepy, and yet, it seems he helped Harry (and Draco) get away in the end. I wonder if Harry and Draco will ever truly realize what was really going on - Harry, under Lucius' influence, seems to have developed Draco's skittishness and inability to see things for what they really are, but instead to trust in the code he's been brought up in. His change in character as a result of those influences was fascinating.

Great story!
Hi there! Thank you so much for reading and letting me know what you thought! I have to admit I'm pleased you found this chilling and horrific--because (and this is coming from someone who likes reading it) that's the essence of chan. Particularly when there's a character like Lucius who seems to be availing himself of a child's misguided ideas and instincts rather than being a responsible adult (and a parent, come to that) and gently correcting the problem. I'm not totally sure myself whether Lucius helped Harry and Draco get away...it may have been Snape, or maybe Dobby. I'd like to think it was Lucius, acting on a gradual change of heart, and that's probably how I'd write it, if I were to write from Lucius' POV or something. And yes--I'm happy Harry's altered worldview worked for you--it just makes sense to me that he would be different as to certain topical (and maybe a few non-topical) aspects, after spending so much time with the Malfoy family and interacting with their expectations.

Thanks so much again for reading!
That was amazing! I'm hoping Lucius was the one to save them. Though it cost both older Malfoys their lives.
:D Thanks so much for reading! Yes, I like to think Lucius was the savior here...though it does steal Severus' thunder a bit...

:D I'm glad you liked it!
wow, that was amazing!
thanks so much for reading and taking the time to comment! I really appreciate it! :)
wow. you had me at the softness of lucius's gloves. that did some very serious things to me. :)

this was such an unusual take on lucius for me that i kept expecting the big ta-da! evil reveal, and i still wasn't decided right up until the final scene whether the portkey spoon was his or snape's. the beauty of an au - and this one is really beautiful - is that you can take a canon relationship and, by refitting a couple of pieces, turn it into something bankable, but what made this one for me was that it was so subtly played that i almost didn't dare to believe in the altered relationship. i don't read a lot of lucius fic myself (although for the life of me i can't think why), so maybe i was slower than most, but for my money it was because you played with the established characters so carefully and cleverly.

as a moderate to heavy drarry shipper, though, draco's infatuation sang out to me like an overfed soprano. <3

i loved it.
draco's infatuation sang out to me like an overfed soprano

Tarte! You had me in LOLZ! :D

Oh, I'm so glad you saw Draco for what he was--just a kid with a crush the size of Manhattan on another kid who's his friend and a little bit oblivious. Although, to be fair, Harry had reason enough to be oblivious, and in the end, Draco had what he'd always sort of wanted (but wasn't totally comfortable with admitting to himself, maybe). I'm super happy you liked Lucius though (and his ever-so-soft gloves--the best money can buy)--I have been on an ongoing quest to find a Lucius who is not tough love/evil/twisted/sadistic, and not sweet/tender/tragically misunderstood--but just, you know, a man. One with concrete ambitions, a wife, a son, vast family wealth to maintain and grow, with worries on his mind and not-altogether-savory desires to be concealed--one, also, who has been gifted with a generous helping of personal charm and attractiveness. Is that asking so much? :D One thing I like about Lucius (and I guess, Snape) is that he pairs well with Harry and Snape, which is a total bonus.

So did you feel, in the end, that Lucius had done Harry a good turn by saving him from the clutches of Voldemort? I'm not sure I've decided myself whether it was Lucius, or Snape, or--perhaps even!--Dobby.

Thanks for reading this, Tarte, and for the fantastic, fantastic feedback. ♥
Thanks so much for reading and letting me know what you thought! Score one for Narcissa! :D She's been kind of overlooked--largely by me, as I hadn't given her a ton of thought (or air time). I'm glad you enjoyed seeing Harry with Draco, especially given that they weren't especially romantic with each other--though I would say I see them as being very close to each other. And yes, romantic, in the end. :) I'm happy you enjoyed this!
This was wonderful on so many levels! You've created such a wide range of emotions and I could feel every little change in Harry's mood. His never ending trust in the wrong person, his adoration a father figure and/or even a bit more than that...
Halfway into the story I was like: does this mean what I think it means? But after reading it to the end, I understand why you decided not to show us the extent of the Lucius/Harry relation. All the little clues as to what was happening behind the scenes just intensified the air of mystery.
And I loved how Draco was still snotty little Draco despite his friendship with Harry. How he was almost jealous of Harry and feared his role as an heir to his father.
But it was Harry's and Lucius' relation I enjoyed the most. So many shades and so imbalanced. His subtle approach from the very first meeting or how he always new perfectly well what Harry needed most (a family, love, caring etc).
And I really liked that Harry wasn't sorted into Slytherin and he could still retain his friendship with Draco through the years.

What more to say? Loved it:)
Aw, I am so, so pleased to read your comment--you seem to understand Lucius and Draco here so well! :D I'm also glad that the Harry/Lucius didn't put you off--I gave it a light touch (perhaps even too light!) because I didn't want to unsettle the balance of the story, or the readers. In my mind, Lucius and Harry were engaging in a relationship that should not have begun and should have been ended in any case by Lucius, were he a better man. I do actually have a scene in my head that makes this abundantly clear, but if I write it, I'm saving it for my own journal, for later. ;) I did feel, though, that inserting it here would detract from the surface of Lucius himself, and from his and Harry's relationship--because it was a quiet thing, with no sharp lines, you know? Harry doesn't view Lucius as a lover, in the full sense of the word--he loves Lucius, but as a...protector, I think, is the best word I have. I would say Lucius loves Harry as well, in an analogous (maybe diametric) fashion--as a child, a ward, a key to success in certain future endeavors...?

:D I never thought to put Harry in Slytherin--I'm glad you felt that added to the story! And also that Draco retained his veneer of dislikeability without being actually truly dislikeable. Thanks again!
i thought the lucius/harry was just a crush from harry's side, but maybe i'm just dense.

anyway, good story. at first i thought the portkey was going to send him to a prison to get killed by voldemort, so i was a bit confused as to why the ended up in the manor. i'm assuming lucius was trying to save harry and draco?
*laughs* Oh, you're not dense! It was very much implied chan--I didn't want to disturb too many people for whom cross-gen chan might be a bit, well, not really in their line of typical slashfic reading. In my mind, Lucius and Harry were most definitely in a fully-formed relationship, and I'm becoming more and more inclined to write out a scene I have in my head that demonstrates the true extent of their relationship. But! It would've been too much at this juncture. :) The spoon portkey took Harry to Grimmauld Place, away from the Manor, and that's where Draco ended up too, moments after Harry got there. As for getting killed by Voldemort--I think Voldemort might've been saving it as an after-dinner event, you know, to be accompanied by cigars and port in the sitting room...

I'd like to think that Lucius was the one who saved Harry via the portkey and also sent Draco after him--although there's more than enough room to argue that Snape (or Dobby!) did the saving in that instance.

Thanks so much for reading and commenting! Go team! :)
It was lovely to see Harry and Draco's friendship mature into the trusting relationship we see at the very end. And I can't tell you how refreshing it was to see Lucius in a completely different light. I'm really glad you chose to make him a hero rather than a villain, as I haven't had much of a feel for Lucius since the last book. I'm very relieved, however, that Harry's time with Lucius was not meant to endure. His sacrifice was a heartbreaking way to bridge any gaps with Draco. My heart melted a little at the end when they took each other's hands. Thanks for a great read, sweetie ♥

Edited at 2009-04-14 11:24 pm (UTC)
Hi P! Thanks so much for reading and the very kind words! I'm really happy you liked Lucius--his relationship with Harry, and Harry's perception of him, was what drove the writing for me. I haven't had a ton of luck with finding a Lucius who isn't evil, per se--in a chan context--but I'm constantly on the lookout! It's interesting to me that you read the story so clearly as one of Lucius' sacrifice--it's a question that's gotten different reactions. Personally I'm inclined to agree with you--Lucius saved him, and Draco--but I could also see Severus' hand in it (yay Snarry). :)

Thanks again for sharing your thoughts! ♥
Wow, until I read the comments, I had totally assumed that Lucius sold Harry down the river! And I was a little upset that Harry didn't seem as shattered by that as he should have been. But then... apparently, it's undecided whether Lucius _did_ save him? My first thought was that Dobby had done it, and then I thought possibly Snape.

I enjoyed figuring out what parts of canon had been retained and what you had changed, but I'm still not clear exactly how this was supposed to have played out. Was it just that Voldemort made better choices about how he regained corporeal form? It also seemed as though no one had talked to Harry about Lucius having been a suspected Death Eater, which I assume Ron would have done, given his antipathy towards Harry's friendship with Draco.

I had totally assumed that Lucius sold Harry down the river!

:D That's a very fair assumption! I think Harry had his own doubts as well--but they just made him angry, angry at himself for not trusting when Lucius has only ever given him reasons to trust.

It also seemed as though no one had talked to Harry about Lucius having been a suspected Death Eater, which I assume Ron would have done, given his antipathy towards Harry's friendship with Draco.

The way I see it, in this AU Voldemort doesn't make attempts on Harry in his first, second, third, etc. years in school, only to be foiled by the wiles of schoolchildren--instead, he waits until Harry is certain to be caught--or at least, as certain as he can possibly be. Because, after all, a snitch in time, right? ;) Haste makes waste and all that. He's got Lucius (and Snape, maybe) working the stage for him, setting things up. He would likely have considered it, but he clearly doesn't proceed on the basis that Lucius (or Snape) would betray him in favor of Harry--and he probably doesn't take Dobby into account at all. Because Voldemort isn't an open threat while Harry's in school, talk of Death Eaters doesn't turn to specifics. And you're right, I agree Ron, in his irritation and jealousy, might mention stories he's heard about Slytherins in general and Malfoys in particular--and Lucius Malfoy, in particular particular...but it doesn't carry the weight of truth or danger because for them, Voldemort isn't quite so real. They haven't been directly subject to his presence or machinations, so while Harry knows about Voldemort (of course--he knows his parents were murdered and why he has that scar), he never sees (or thinks about) the possible connection between Voldemort and Lucius, as a Death Eater. It would be a bizarre and very abstract concept for Harry--which is why his reaction is more shock than anything when he meets Voldemort.

Thank you so much for reading and asking these excellent questions! I think it's so interesting that some readers come away with the firm impression that Lucius used Harry and is the ultimate villain, while others come away with the firm impression that Lucius saved Harry and is a hero at last.
This was a nice take on AU :) I had no idea what "chan" was going into this, but you pulled off the Harry/Lucius the way I think it should: dark and more than a little wrong. I love that Lucius' intentions are fairly apparent if you're away from it, but how blinded Harry is. And Draco's long-suffering crush was great, too, I'm glad the end didn't seem to feature Harry going to Draco because of his similar appearance to Lucius...
Thanks so much for reading--I'm glad you took a chance despite the unfamiliar chan warning! I think I forget that chan may not be as commonly referenced as it might be for other pairings (ahem, Snarry, my other love). I really appreciate how you saw Harry's relationship from close-up, through Harry's eyes, but from a more objective stance as well--that's always a tricky thing. And I'm super happy you felt that Harry wasn't with Draco just because of his family resemblance, because that certainly wasn't my intention! :) Maybe--partly--at the beginning--it might've had some sliver of influence...but really, Harry knows Draco--they grew up together, and they became close before they became attached. ♥

Enchantment; Loss

What a clever returning of events. breaks my heart, and sews it back up together. Lovely tale! *wibble*

Re: Enchantment; Loss

Thanks so much for reading and letting me know what you thought! I'm happy you enjoyed it. :)
so. hm.

is it at all possible to warn folks of such implied connections?
no matter how indirect.

that is. harry/lucius makes me ill to the umpth degree.

and granted. its all rather hazy.
but when the undertones of harry/lucius are stronger than harry/draco
im mildly annoyed.
it just taints it to me.
i cant even enjoy the ending.

i totally know im probably in the minority.
but a little heads up in advance would have been lovely then i could have just steered clear of it.

still. lovely writing.
i just need hardcore happy h/d now to scrub out my brain.
oh. and randomly. someone please tell me.
is that what 'chan' is?

i really dont know.
all these years reading and i never noticed that particular warning.

educate me please? someone?

I like AUs that wind in and around canon, changing just enough to make the different story seem plausible and, in this case, utterly believable. I really liked this. I liked that Lucius wasn't redeemed. He was still a bastard, simply that his and Harry's needs dove-tailed in this instance.

And the way that Harry and Draco grew closer was wonderful. Draco clearly knew what was happening, but didn't care, because he was going to win in the end. And he did.

Oh, and I really like that you left the creator of the Portkey implied and not absolutely known. Because Harry wouldn't know.
Thanks so much for reading and the lovely comment! It's really interesting to me that you read Lucius as unredeemed, although not necessarily guilty of attempting to deliver Harry unto Voldemort...I hadn't thought of that perception of Lucius, you know? But I absolutely agree-he's unredeemed by virtue of his abuse of Harry (no matter how he may have felt about Harry or cared about him, certain of his actions are unqualifiedly abuse) and certainly, initially at least, it seems hard to see how he could have not been using Harry for his own ends.

So you thought Draco knew, huh? :) I'm...not sure whether Draco knew knew, or had suspicions he wouldn't dare even to whisper, or what...I think he definitely sensed something was amiss, that there was a preternatural closeness between his father and his friend...

I'm thrilled you thought the ambiguity of the portkey savior was fitting, rather than dissatisfying. :D That makes my day. ♥
i think this is a very well-written story, and your take on canon was quite interesting. however, my complaint is that the harry/draco almost seems like an afterthought. this is more of a harry/lucius story than anything else, which is why i don't think it's suitable for this fest.

that being said, i'm quite impressed with your story-telling skills. your subtle descriptions of harry's feelings for lucius had my heart in my mouth, and i thoroughly enjoyed the effortless transitions from one scenes to the next, as well as the way in which you kept a lot of canon elements but still worked around them.
Thank you so much for reading and your thoughtful comment! I'm glad you found the canon/AU approach worked well. I can definitely see how the H/D relationship seems to be overshadowed by the Harry/Lucius relationship--to be honest, the Harry/Lucius relationship was the genesis of the concept, and was what drove me to write this. I'd say the H/D relationship is also quite central, though, because Draco is ultimately the one who saves Harry--that is, Harry and Draco grow up together and they become close in an ordinary mundane way that Harry and Lucius never are. Draco harbors a long-time crush on Harry (though Harry, oblivious as ever, doesn't quite see it) and in the end, it's the mutual dependence between Harry and Draco (developed through childhood friendship and a certain equality of footing) that enables both Harry and Draco to turn away from the Manor and really live, as themselves, as adults, together. Harry and Lucius' relationship is transient, because it's a fantasy (for Harry, at least) brought into being by necessity, political expediency, moral bankruptcy on Lucius' part, patient determination on Harry's part--any number of explanations. Harry and Draco's relationship, however, is fundamentally different--it's real, it's organic. It's based on actual knowledge and familiarity and reciprocal trust and a shared state of mind--and because of this, I'd like to think that it's Harry and Draco's relationship that prevails.
There is so much to be admired about this story. I loved how you developed the relationship between Harry and Draco. I liked the changes in the story and how they allowed Harry to have the childhood he never really had in the books. Plus the friendship with the Draco that he never got to have. I loved the end. Despite all that, once I was finished reading the story I could help but feel a little disturbed. The implied relationship between Lucius and Harry is what disturbed me. I wish that Harry had merely thought of his as a father and not as something more. And I really do hope that he is completely able to forget him and be happy with Draco, the one who was always really there.
Thank you so much for reading and the very kind words! I'm glad you enjoyed it--and also that it left a ripple of unease. Chan can do that, after all, and part of the appeal for me in writing was the fascination/creep factor. I admit I'm not one for blood and gore and non-con and torture--but something like this, something so flagrantly skewed from one perspective and so utterly paradisical from another--that'll get me every time. :) I think in the end, though, Harry will come to understand more clearly that his relationship with Lucius wasn't wholly right--but it won't embitter or scar him, because he'll be content with his life as it is, with Draco. It'll probably leave him feeling really weird when he thinks about it--so he won't think about it too often--and eventually it'll just be another life experience that could've turned out very poorly, but didn't.
That was really well done! Such a difference the slightest change makes, allowing Harry to see Draco in a positive light and, through him, Lucius.

For Harry's sake, I hoped things might be even more changed than the delay of Voldemort's appearance. Having formed such an attachment to Lucius and then have it so betrayed. I was glad that Harry's place in Draco's life also had an effect on Draco's personality, so all was not lost.
Thanks so much for reading and taking the time to comment! I'm glad you enjoyed the AU alterations. :) Yes, I'd like to think that Harry had a positive influence on Draco--that was part of what was behind the whole broom-giveaway shenanigans...at an earlier stage I had considered including a scene where Draco does something similar, for Harry, thus demonstrating that it was a lesson well (if reluctantly) learned. :D But, it seemed a little too--pat, or something, so out it went! Thanks again for the lovely words!
This is very well written - the AU takes on canon are great! But I wish the warning had included one for the implied Harry/Lucius. I don't mind chan, but Lucius tends to squick me.
Thanks so much for reading and the kind words! I understand what you're saying about the warning--my own view is that it's not needed, given the implied chan warning and Lucius' relatively early appearance in the fic, but I can certainly see your point and have emailed the mods to ask for their thoughts. Thanks again for the comment!
Woah! Really, really clever re-writing. When I started reading, there was this "she didn't.. did she?" moment, and you had me from there.

I'm sorry I'm not able to leave a coherent comment, my head's still spinning from all those layers. Just this much: brilliant, right up to the spoon-portkeys and beyond. Thank you!
:D I'm so, so pleased you thought this worked out well! Thanks for reading--I'm really happy you enjoyed it, and I appreciate the comment! ♥
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January 2010

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